Anonymous asked:

Buck Sexton applies peanut butter to his unusually large nipples to beckon the squirrels to comeLICK IT OFF OF HIS NEEPLES and he puts blackberry jam in his hair for the birds that come along w the squirrels and he massages the jam into his scalp so his hair gets "extra jammified" as he puts it, AND THEN the birds pick ALL the jam out of his hair each strand at a time and that his how he gets his hair to look the way it does

I have ignored this message for like over two months trying to think of a way to reply to this but I still cant think of anything but you all deserve to see this magnificent anon message I was sent 

Oh my gosh guys I can’t Remember if buck is 32 or 33 I thought he was 32 but on my FAQ page I put 33 but I’m p sure he’s 32 do any of you know????